37 Weeks

There have been many inquiries and rumors that maybe I've had the baby since I haven't updated the blog in so long. Well, let me put the rumors to rest...no baby yet. Baby boy is still waiting to make his world debut inside my overcrowded tummy.

I did have an ultrasound today to estimate this little guy's weight. He's in the 60th percentile for size, and my doctor is estimating he'll be between 8 and 8 1/2 pounds, which is right around what both Cooper and Chloe weighed. I'm definitely relieved to hear that he won't be competing with his oldest brother for the prize of biggest Sanders boy! I shutter to think of giving birth to another 10 pound bundle of joy!

I also found out that I'm 2 and 1/2 cm dilated and the baby's head remains extremely low. So, he's definitely getting ready! I absolutely can't wait to see him, hold him and introduce him to all of you!

In other news, my birthday lens arrived!!! After the morning storms we experienced here, I was able to try that baby out, and boy, do I love my new lens! It is a Nikon 18 - 200, so I no longer have to be in the kids faces to get the shots I'm looking for.

Here's a preview, I'll have to post more later because I took so many!
I'd love to hear what you think!
Which one is your favorite?

Growing Up

Lately I've noticed just how much our oldest son, Gabe, is growing up. As you may recall, he turned six awhile back, and it has recently become very apparent to me just how much this milestone has meant.

Maybe it's just me thinking of holding a newborn again soon, and realizing how many years ago that Gabe was a newborn. Maybe it's the fact that it's summertime, meaning Gabe is home everyday from school, and while his brother and sister nap, he's gotten too old for nap time. Maybe it's the fact that my little boy, who was not too long ago deathly afraid of fireworks, now wants to light them on his own in celebration of the fourth of July. Maybe it's the helper he's become, often offering without being asked to assist me with chores or taking it upon his own to be such a blessing to me.

Maybe it's a lot of things.

I know it's inevitable. We all grow up. No one stays a baby, or a toddler, or a little boy forever. But that doesn't make it any less sad for a mother, letting go of her oldest child being a child. And it doesn't make me long to preserve the memories of his childhood any less, which I hope this blog helps me to accomplish.

One thing growing up does do is make me realize the vast need for me, as his mom, to pray for him all the more. As he begins to understand more and more of this world we live in. As he begins to let go of the innocence of childhood. As he matures. My prayer is simply this: that He may choose to follow the ways of the Lord, to hold tightly to God's Word and to Christ's example of how to live in this world. And that I, as his mom, may be able to provide him with every tool and every example I can to enable him to walk the straight and narrow road.

It's not easy in this world, where we so easily conform to the earthly ways demonstrated all around us. But God tells us in His Word not to conform, but to be transformed in Him, so that we may know His Will. I pray this for Gabe, and for all my children, and I pray each one of them can be a light in this all-too-dark world as they grow.

I took some photos of Gabe while he wasn't napping, and while the other kids were. These photos really reinforced how much Gabe is growing up. He looks like a young man, not a little boy.
And oh how I love this young man.

Hold me Mommy...

As the big day of the new addition to our family draws closer and closer, and our lives seem to get busier and busier, I am trying to be very mindful of giving each of the kids lots of attention. The thought of any of our kids being neglected in any way or feeling 'left out' breaks my heart. It's always something that's been in the forefront of my consciousness as we've added to our family every few years. I don't know why I've always had this overwhelming need to make sure each of them are getting equal attention. It's certainly NOT because I myself was neglected growing up. Nor was I even a middle child, being the youngest {by nearly 11 years} to my three older brothers. As the youngest and the only girl, I got plenty of attention. But nevertheless, I've always had a desire to make sure everyone feels included, not only in my family, but in social situations in general. And in my own family, I have always desired to make sure each child feels special, that each child feels wrapped in the love and protection of me as their mom, and more importantly in God's love and protection.



But lately, Cooper, our 'middle' child {middle for now anyway,} has seemed to need a little extra attention. He is definitely the most sensitive out of our three children. He always has been. He just has a tender heart and seems to feel things more deeply than the average four year old. I don't know if that's why he's been very close to mom lately or not. It's hard to tell because we've always referred to Cooper as a bit of a momma's boy.

But he has seemed to be following me around more lately than usual. Asking me to hold him. Asking me to smile at him, a Cooper trademark saying. Asking me to simply sit with him. And last night, as I sat with him and smiled at him and held him, he looked up at me with those big baby blues and asked me a question that brought instant tears to my eyes. He said, "Mom, am I still your baby doll?" {Baby doll is a nickname I have always had for Coop.} And although my response took a few moments as I tried to talk through the tears, I looked at that sweet little boy, this boy asking for his mom's love and security in a simple question, and I responded, "Oh yes Cooper. You'll always be my baby doll. No matter how old you are. No matter how old I am. You'll always be mommy's little boy."

He smiled so big, squeezed me with those little arms so tight, and said, "Thanks mommy!"

Seriously, what kind of kid thanks his mom for loving him? Cooper is just that way.

It's moments like those where I am reminded of my own father. And not my earthly father, although I know I am loved greatly by him as well. No, I'm talking about my Heavenly Father. He loves me so much, so much deeper than I can ever understand. He loves me more than I could ever love my own children, and that's really a hard concept to grasp. But because His love is so pure, so real, so sinless, it is the greatest love anyone could ever know.

I pray that each and every one of you knows the love our Father in Heaven has for us. I know that as I think of holding my little boy and loving on him, I can't help but feel the love of my Lord and Savior wrapped around me. After all, like the verse says, "We love, because He first loved us." 1 John 4:19.

Thanks for 'listening.' :)

Under Pressure

I think this post is accurately titled, 'Under Pressure,' for many reasons...

First of all, I am feeling so much physical pressure as this baby boy gets ready to make his way into the world. The doctor said his head is very low, which is not surprising. Sometimes it's hard just to get up and walk at all!

Jason is taking on a big project overhauling the youth center at church this summer. It's currently being gutted and he's of course enlisting my help with the design of the new youth space, including painting some murals before the youth start back on the regular schedule in September. The youth ministries makeover also includes changing the ministry 'brand identity,' including new logos, brochures, business cards, t-shirts, etc., all of which I also need to complete by the fall. Oh, and did I mention I also need to take photos of the youth to be enlarged into canvas prints that will also adorn the new youth center?!? Hmmm....not that I have anything else going on right now ;) It normally would be a fun project, but I have so many jobs to do, which leads me to the next task...

I have so many design jobs going on right now, including a church brochure that I've been putting off for months and feeling rather guilty about not having it done. Who wants to make a church wait, right? And all of the current projects have upcoming deadlines, as if the baby coming isn't deadline enough! I'm really starting to think that my inability to say 'no' is perhaps a curse! I just hate to turn down work and love what I do. But I do wish I had more time to do it right now. And heaven forbid I let someone down...the thought makes me cringe. Why did God have to make me a people-pleaser anyway?

On top of everything else, our goal is to get our basement drywall, the drywall that has endured extensive water damage, fixed in time to get the basement repainted and cleaned before baby arrives as well. I definitely don't need or want a drywall or painting project going on in the first days of having a new born at home when the basement is currently our only living space.

Under pressure for sure!

On a happier note, as the optimist in me would rather focus on anyway, we got all of our windows tonight which will start being installed tomorrow. One step closer to getting the outside of our Extreme Home Makeover completed! Next will come the siding and stone!

So, things have been busy and a bit stressful, but I am hanging in there and trying not to let my hormones get the best of me. Believe me, when things like what's seen in the photo below are happening in the midst of trying to work on the design projects that are overflowing my desk already, it would be easy to begin to feel a little overwhelmed.


This activity was accompanied by slamming doors and uncontrollable laughter & screaming, the noise of which is not accurately expressed through the photo. Makes it a little hard to concentrate when you're trying to get some work done on the old computer *smile*

Your prayers that I would maintain patience and sanity would be great appreciated, really!
I pray that all of you are having a great summer and finding some time everyday to enjoy a little of God's beauty that surrounds us this summer season. After all, I know that's all the timeout I need to get re focused for...what else...more work!

35 Weeks

I am 35 weeks pregnant and had another doctor's appointment yesterday.
All the normal checks were done...blood pressure, weight, tummy size, etc.
My blood pressure was low...like, really low. I always have very low blood pressure, but yesterday it registered 90 over 65. I'm not really sure what that was about, but after assuring them I was fine, they let me slide.
I am still not gaining any weight, but I think I got a pass because my doctor looked back at my chart and recalled that I didn't gain weight in the end of my other pregnancies either. And really, who has much of an appetite when it's 90 plus degrees outside?
Not me.
My stomach size is still measuring small for this point in the pregnancy, but as I've mentioned before, that's also normal for me despite the large size of my past babies. For this reason, I will have an ultrasound at my next appointment to estimate the baby's size.
My doctor also made it clear that even though my due date is August 4, this will be a July baby as he would not want to risk me having another 10 pound child. So, I'm not sure the date, but I will be induced at the end of July if this little boy doesn't decide to come out on his own.
That's more than ok with me, except for one detail...
Please pray that everything will happen naturally so that I do not have to be induced. I had to have pitocin {a drug that helps to bring on regular contractions} with both Gabe and Chloe, and that drug makes the contractions almost unbearable without pain medication. I haven't had an epidural with any of my other pregnancies and I don't plan to have one this time either. But the thought of going through pitocin-induced contractions without pain meds brings back a lot of painful memories. So your prayers would be appreciated!

Only about 4 weeks to go...it's almost July!

Happy Birthday Jason!

A little poem in honor of Dad's birthday,
from the kids...

Ever since my life began,
I realized, dad, that "You da man!"
I saw your wisdom, your courage too,
And I learned I could rely on you.Your tolerant nature is really great;
Nevertheless, you don't hesitate
To let me know when I've been bad;
It can't be easy, but that's being a dad.You're strong, smart, fun,
you're filled with love--
A man of God, gift to me from up above,
So here's a greeting from your biggest fans:
Happy Birthday, Dad, 'cause "You da man!"

We Love You Dad!

Feeling hot, hot, hot!

It's currently 91 degrees outside. The summer heat and humidity are surely upon us!
Translation: perfect day to be in the pool.
The boys have swim lessons every night this week. But the storm that blew through, and I mean blew as in 85 mph winds, caused last night's lessons to be canceled.
So to make up for the disappointment of canceled swim lessons, we went to town and got a small pool.
And although it's small, this little pool delivers quite a fun filled time! It even sprays water out of the frog's head, which the kids quickly picked up on and referred to as the frog's pee. Chloe was screaming and yelling, 'Ewwww mom! Pee!' Thanks for that boys!

Anyway, I took a few photos, big surprise :)



Notice the kids' eyes...all squinting. They all have blue eyes like mom and dad, meaning they all have very sensitive-to-the-sun eyes.
And boy is it bright out there today!

Gang Signs

They look innocent enough, don't they...



But is it possible that my two sweet little boys have joined a gang?



Seriously, lately I cannot take a photo of them without both boys flashing some sort of gang sign.



Really, what's the deal? Where do they learn this stuff? Honestly, Jason and I do not go around flashing gang symbols...not on a regular basis anyways.



But maybe it's not a gang sign after all. Maybe they're doing the Texas Longhorns hand signal, 'hook em' horns?'



Or, maybe the sign language sign for love?

I think we'll just go with that.

From the Inside Out

Yesterday I decided to change things up and shuffle the order of the blog music. The result...I have fallen in love with a favorite song all over again.
'From the Inside Out,' by Hillsong, is a song I first heard last year while Jason and I were on a mission trip in Nicaragua.
{Click here to see the first of several posts about our trip last summer. This first post is a little background about the trip. Then check out the archives from August of 2008 to learn about our actual trip while in the country.}
We rode in vehicles from the city our plane arrived in into the depths of the country's mountains. Our guide, a young Nicaraguan man with such a heart for the Lord and His people, had one cd for us to listen to. There was no radio reception in the mountains, so that one cd played over and over again as we drove nearly four hours one day and five hours the next. And this particular song on the cd penetrated my heart and left a lasting impression. Our guide actually had it in Spanish too, which is truly beautiful even though my Spanish is sketchy. For me, sometimes music transcends language barriers and although I may not understand the words, the music moves my heart.

Listen to the words and be silent before the Lord. If you listen with your heart and mind open to Him, I think it's inevitable that He will move you through the words.

How can I not be moved, be brought to tears, as this song reminds me of all the times I've failed, all the times I've sinned, yet my Lord forgives me every single time. His grace is more than sufficient to cover any multitude of sinful things I do, sinful things I think.

His grace alone is enough.

My prayer today, as the song says, is for any pride that causes me to hold any part of myself from Him to fade away.
I want my prayer every day, every minute, to be to give my Lord control of my heart and my soul so that He may consume me from the inside out.
Let me embrace justice, embrace grace, and reflect nothing but Him.
I want the cry of my heart to be to bring You praise Lord from the inside out, in everything I do.
Amen!

Here are the song's lyrics...

From the Inside Out

A thousand times I've failed
Still your mercy remains
And should I stumble again
Still I'm caught in your grace

Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending, Your glory goes beyond all fame
my heart and my soul, Lord I give you control
Consume me from the inside out Lord
Let justice and praise become my embrace
To love You from the inside out

Your will above all else, my purpose remains
The art of losing myself in bringing you praise

Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending, Your glory goes beyond all fame
In my heart, in my soul, Lord I give you control
Consume me from the inside out Lord
Let justice and praise become my embrace
To love You from the inside out

Chorus 2x
Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending, Your glory goes beyond all fame
And the cry of my heart is to bring You praise
From the inside out Lord, my soul cries out

Baby Fever

Baby fever has struck!
I just got back from taking a meal to a friend who had a little boy a few days ago. Holding her very cute little guy made me long to hold my own little guy, who is currently kicking at my ribs. I'd much rather be holding him than having him kick me!

It's becoming more real to me...only about 5 1/2 more weeks until I'll have a newborn in my arms. I can't wait to hold him, smell him {love that newborn smell}, look at him and listen to him. There's nothing that compares to holding your newborn after nine long months of waiting, sickness, aches, pains and more sickness.

I have gotten all the baby essentials ready that I can. In the midst of an extreme home makeover {click to read about our project,} there's only so much you can do! But Jason did find the bin of newborn boy clothes that had been lost...big relief! With two big brothers and a clothing addict for a mom, this little guy has no need for any new threads! I've washed, dried and folded his entire wardrobe for the first three months of his life, gotten his co-sleeper bedding washed and the bed set up, and gotten out the infant car seat for cleaning.

There are a few loose ends however.
I am still needing to locate this in my packed away books...

I give this book credit for both Cooper and Chloe sleeping through the night so early on. I didn't have the book when Gabe was a baby, and he was a terrible sleeper and very colicky for the first few months of his life. Coincidence? I tend to think not. I'd recommend this book to any new mother, and plan to re-read it to refresh my own memory.

I also have to get a new one of these before the baby arrives...

For me, a bouncy seat is a life saver. I used a bouncy seat with all three kids. They all loved the seat, and I loved it too. It was so nice to have a place for baby to be entertained so that I could have my hands free to do some work around the house. The seat also worked wonders for soothing a fussy little one off to dreamland. Unfortunately, three kids is all our the seat made it through, as it is now broken {if I remember correctly, the boys are to blame for trying to sit in it with their baby sister...oops!} So, I will have to be getting another one.

But all in all, as far as I'm concerned, bring on the baby!
My fever is a risin'!