Ten years ago tonight, I was at my wedding reception dancing and celebrating with the man I would spend the rest of my life with.
It was just Jason and I, two kids at the tender age of 21, vowing to love each other forever with God at the throne of our marriage. And ten years later, God still sits there, uniting us as one.
We also have four kids, family, friends, vehicles, hobbies, Supervisor campaigns, photo shoots, youth group meetings, kids' activities, house renovations...in short, a lot filling our lives. But God remains number one. And without Him at the center, I shutter to think what would have become of us.
I thank Him for bringing us together. For perfectly orchestrating every single event that brought us to that marriage ceremony ten years ago. When I think of how easy it would have been for us to have missed one another....if I had never moved into Jason's hometown my freshman year of high school. If I had never dated his friend, or been in the same American Literature class. Or if I had never taken the time to look past the outward arrogance of a teenage boy that I saw upon first glance, and look into the inner workings of what makes Jason such an awesome man of God. How easily we could have missed each other, and would never be celebrating ten years and four kids together. But thank God for His grace, for having patience with us when we make mistakes. For being a God who is faithful, and loving. Who is just and perfect. Who loves us more than we can even fathom, and who gives us helpmates to love.
So ten years later, I thank God for Jason. I thank God for blessing me with a husband who is perhaps the most discerning man I've ever met. Who longs for the Lord's will to be done in every situation and who leads with God's authority. And who loves me unconditionally. I couldn't ask for anything more.
I love you Jason.
Cooper Tait turns five today!
It just so happens to also be our ten year wedding anniversary as well. Yes, our son was born June 10, 2005, five years to the day after I married my best friend. Another post will follow about our ten year anniversary, but I want to make this one about Cooper.
Cooper is the only one of my children who came willingly. With the other three kiddos, I had to be given pitocin to induce labor, but not with Cooper. I awoke early morning on our fifth wedding anniversary to find that I was having regular contractions. And from then on out, the labor and delivery were textbook. And easy.
As with all my labors, I chose NOT to have any pain medication. But I can honestly say that with this labor, I wouldn't have needed any if it were a choice in my mind. It was a breeze, and in turn, the entire experience was filled with joy. And joy is exactly what Cooper has brought to our lives.
Cooper is one of the sweetest, kindest kiddos you'll ever meet. It's so neat to look at all of my four children and see God's handiwork in four very different and unique ways. He makes all of us so very special. And Cooper is indeed special. He has such a sweet sensitivity about him. He cares for others and thinks of others first. It will not surprise me in the least if Cooper's future involves taking care of others in some way, because that's just what comes naturally to him. He is kind.
Time and time again, Cooper can be seen putting others first. The way he cares for his baby brother and lets his big brother lead the way while humbly following. The way he willingly plays tea party with his little sister, when he'd rather be playing Batman. There are the attributes that are so very apparent in Cooper and make me so very thankful for him. Because you can't be around Cooper very long without striving to be a better person yourself. That's just the impact he has on people. Through his actions, you see love. And after all, they will know us by our love. I think God made Cooper for such a special purpose, and I'm excited to see who He is molded and shaped to be as he grows.
Happy Birthday Cooper!
My oldest, Gabe, is no longer a first grader. He informed me that he is now to be referred to as a second grader.
Exhibit A: Gabe, a boy of strong will.
Gabe has always been a leader, never a follower. His strong will and determination work hand-in-hand to make him an independent young man, from day one. I remember taking care of Gabe as a baby. A colicky, high-maintenance, 'I'll sleep when I want to' kind of baby. He about did me in. But I knew from those early days he would not be one to go along with the crowd. He would lead.
At the same time, Gabe has a sensitive soul.
Exhibit B: Gabe, a boy with a tender heart.
Gabe can be so insensitive about some things. Like when his mom is crying during sad movies, and he decides to make fun of said mom. Insensitive.
But then there are the times when he starts to think about orphans in the world. About kids his own age, who have no families, no mom and dad, and no place to call home. It is in those moments that his sensitive side becomes evident. He has such an ability to empathize with others, to put himself in their shoes and truly feel what they might be feeling. As he prays for those orphans through his tears, it is then that I see what a heart he has for others, and my cup overfloweth.
And then there are the times when people call him 'freckles' and he gets embarrassed.
Exhibit C: Gabe, the blusher.
Gabe has been called 'freckles' a number of times in my presence the last few weeks. As a freckle kid myself, I remember the childhood days of summer when the sun would shine and call to my freckles, "Come on out!" And my freckles would cover my face, my arms, my shoulders, begging out for people to give me the same nickname my son now has. I remember a time of self-consciousness, the feeling of, 'Boy, I wish I didn't have these freckles.' But then I realized, God made me beautiful in His own image. He gave me these freckles, so they can't be that bad. And I shared the same enlightenment I was once given with my son, and he now loves his freckles too.
Which leads me to Exhibit D: Gabe, a boy of confidence. Gabe is perhaps one of the most confident kids I've ever met. He has a contentment about himself, like he's comfortable in his own skin. Not an arrogance that he's better than anyone else, just an assurance that he can in fact put his mind to something and accomplish it. He's happy to play air guitar or wear crazy socks and not care who sees him...
And then there's Exhibit E: Gabe, the sweet boy.
Gabe, on his own prompting, wanted to write his teacher a letter, thanking her for being such a great teacher. With the exception of a few spelling questions, Gabe wrote the letter by himself. It read:
"Dear Mrs. Gardemann,
Thank you for being my teacher.
You are the best teacher ever.
I will miss you.
Have a good summer.
{heart} Gabe."
And at the bottom he added, "I {heart} Mrs. Gardemann."
Exhibit F: Gabe, the ladies man.
Gabe has long been a boy surrounded by girls. Maybe it's his confidence, or his leadership qualities. Maybe it's his tender heart or his sweetness. Or maybe it's just his cute face & blue eyes...
Regardless, I am so proud of the depth of character my young man has at the age of seven. What great things I pray Gabe can do in the world as he grows, by the grace of God. I pray we continue to let him become whoever the Lord wants him to be, and be there to guide him toward straight paths.
I love you Gabe, my second grader!
The day before my birthday, Gavin decided to climb the stairs for the first time. At ten months old, he made it up four stairs and stopped for a rest on the landing.
Happy birthday to me. Time to put the gate up!
A few weeks back, Chloe had her first-ever dentist visit...as a patient, that is.
She's been to the dentist several times with the boys. She's watched them get their teeth cleaned. She's watched them get new toothbrushes, and stickers, and toys from the treasure chest. I should add that the kids go to a great pediatric dentist. I, on the other hand, get NO treats when I go to my dentist. Maybe I should switch.
After being witness to all of these dentist visits and wishing it were her turn, Chloe was so very excited about finally having her own dentist appointment. {I know...excited about going to the dentist? Crazy, right?!?} She was so excited, that she sang the whole way to the dentist's office. She made up songs involving key words like 'teeth' and 'dentist,' with her usual 'princess' thrown in here and there. And as I listened to her sing and sing and sing excitedly for the entire 30-minute trip to the dentist, I wondered {and worried} about how on earth the dentist was going to check the teeth of a girl who doesn't stop talking for more than five seconds.
Well, I had no need to worry.
When we got there, Chloe reverted to her rare shy mode and did whatever they asked of her...quietly. She did so well, that the dentist turned to me and said that she is a rarity for a girl her age, so he went ahead and did the full exam that he usually only does on the older kids. I was shocked. I don't think I've ever heard Chloe be quiet for that long. It made me think maybe I should get a dentist chair and some tools and do exams on her at home everyday. But alas, it certainly wouldn't work that well for me. I'm just glad that she not only isn't scared to go to the dentist like I always was {and am} but that she actually enjoys going.
Here are a few photos to commemorate Chloe's first dentist visit.
Chloe, so excited for her appointment...
Being such a big girl in the dentist's chair...
Showing mom her very clean teeth...
Looking at the vast selection of stickers. Of course, she picked the princess sticker on the far left...
Picking a prize from the treasure chest...
The dentist goody bag...
First dentist visit: a success!
Chloe found this hat...begged me to put it on Gavin.
The Result: A very adorable photo opp!
Boy, I LOVE this boy with his ever-present smile :)
Today is a very sad day for the Sanders Family. Our nine-year-old Saint Bernard, Samson, died today. Jason found him as he went to routinely give Sam food and water. I had just opened the door to shake out a rug as I saw Jason walking towards me from Samson's kennel. The look on his face, coupled with the words 'I need to talk to you,' made my heart sink. I knew immediately something was wrong. And tears flowed upon hearing the words 'Samson died.' He was not just a dog to us. He was a family member. He was my first baby.
Jason and I had been married just over one year when we drove to Illinois to pick up our new pup. I fell in love with him immediately. He sat in my lap the whole way home and stole my heart from the start. It was less than six months after we had him that he began to limp. Upon taking him to the vet, we discovered he indeed had hip dysplasia, a disease that causes crippling arthritis, leading to severe pain and loss of the ability to walk. The choice was ours: put our pup to sleep or pay for him to have a hip replacement. Of course, it was no choice at all...we scheduled his surgery right away. He wasn't just a dog, he was like a child to us.
After a short recovery period, Samson went on to live a long, healthy and happy life. We knew large breeds life expectancy is shorter, 8 to 10 years to be exact. But still were not prepared for today.
And neither were the kids.
Because, how can you prepare for the death of a family member.
This evening as we buried Samson and said prayers to put him to rest, Cooper prayed, "I'll miss ya boy." Gabe said quietly, trying to hold back the tears, "I can't wait to walk with you in heaven Sam!" And as we said amen, we all had tears in our eyes. He was a good friend.
Tonight, Chloe is still oblivious. She kept saying things like, 'Samson's sleeping? He's never waking up?' But really, didn't 'get' it. But we all know that a few years of age makes a big difference. Cooper at almost five-years-old and Gabe at seven are taking it hard. Cooper cried, saying "I just want to walk with him, one more time." And Gabe sobbed in his bed. To him, not only does he miss his dog, but he has also started thinking further. After all, if Samson can die, and Great Grandpa & Aunt Fern can die as they both did within the last few years, then mom and dad could die too.
I tried to reassure him that mom and dad aren't going to die for a long, long time, until we're old and gray, but the fact is I don't know that. From the moment sin entered the world, so did death. As the Bible says, "For the wages of sin is death..." Everyone dies. That's why it's important to live each day to the fullest. To not take our loved ones or our pets, or the opportunities that God places in front of us to love on other people and make a difference in the lives of everyone we come in contact with for granted. Because tomorrow may be our last. All we can do is pray that with the Lord's grace, we live our lives for His glory, and with purpose.
But to the tender heart of a seven-year-old missing his pup, all of that doesn't resonate the way the pain of losing a best friend does. It hurts. And the tears continue to flow, as I pause to comfort Gabe coming out of his room for the third time crying.
So tonight, would you please say a little prayer for my kiddos, missing their pup. And for their parents too ;) Because Samson is a dog that could never be replaced. A little hole will exist in all our hearts where he once was. He was gentle, and playful, and kind-hearted. He loved us and we loved him. And he will be greatly missed.
I leave you with the last photos of Samson, taken about three weeks ago. The photos, snapped as Sam walked across the backyard are nothing special, but the dog sure was.
