Happy New Year to everyone! I truly hope yours is off to a good start.
I have to tell you, mine has been a bit rocky.
I woke up this morning feeling so sick, my stomach hurting from all the vomiting of yesterday, and feeling nauseated again today.
And then the vomiting kicked in again.
I was so thankful I felt this terrible on a day Jason was able to be home, because I honestly could barely get out of bed to make the trek to the bathroom, let alone take care of my three children.
So, there I was, stuck in bed feeling so sick and defeated. I do not like to feel helpless and do not like to have to count on others to do the job that I should be doing...taking care of my home, my children, my husband. I feel like since I stay at home, the home is where I work and I need to take care of all things at home. Instead, I have been relying on Jason to pick up my slack, and feeling so guilty. And what a good man he is, never once letting me know that he's exhausted from the extra load he's carrying when I know he has to be.
So, laying in bed, I was praying that God would just take this sick feeling away, but knowing that I should at the same time feel blessed to have sickness for the reason of being pregnant. All the ladies I know who cannot bear children or have had multiple miscarriages remind me of how blessed I am in the midst of this sickness.
Besides prayer, any time I am feeling defeated, I know I also need to pick up my Bible and spend some time in God's Word. Otherwise, self pity can all too easily creep in and I despise self pity.
God always seems to reveal Himself in the ways I need to know Him most when I call out for His help in times of need.
Today was no different.
I turned my Bible to Psalm 16:7-9, 11, which says,
I will praise the Lord, who counsels me; even at night my heart instructs me. I have set the Lord always before me. Because he is at my right hand, I will not be shaken. Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices; my body will also rest secure...You have made known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand.
How this verse reminded me, just when I needed reminded, that we can always cast our cares upon the Lord. We can withstand whatever may come our way because we can walk with Him through the darkness.
I don't have to feel defeated, because I always have victory in the Lord. And although this didn't help my stomach, it did help my state of mind.
So tonight, as I type this again feeling nauseated, I know that the Lord is there to provide strength where I may be weak.
And what an amazing sense of peace that knowledge provides!
I hope you too have the peace of the Lord this New Year's!