Thursday, July 2, 2009

Hold me Mommy...

As the big day of the new addition to our family draws closer and closer, and our lives seem to get busier and busier, I am trying to be very mindful of giving each of the kids lots of attention. The thought of any of our kids being neglected in any way or feeling 'left out' breaks my heart. It's always something that's been in the forefront of my consciousness as we've added to our family every few years. I don't know why I've always had this overwhelming need to make sure each of them are getting equal attention. It's certainly NOT because I myself was neglected growing up. Nor was I even a middle child, being the youngest {by nearly 11 years} to my three older brothers. As the youngest and the only girl, I got plenty of attention. But nevertheless, I've always had a desire to make sure everyone feels included, not only in my family, but in social situations in general. And in my own family, I have always desired to make sure each child feels special, that each child feels wrapped in the love and protection of me as their mom, and more importantly in God's love and protection.

But lately, Cooper, our 'middle' child {middle for now anyway,} has seemed to need a little extra attention. He is definitely the most sensitive out of our three children. He always has been. He just has a tender heart and seems to feel things more deeply than the average four year old. I don't know if that's why he's been very close to mom lately or not. It's hard to tell because we've always referred to Cooper as a bit of a momma's boy.

But he has seemed to be following me around more lately than usual. Asking me to hold him. Asking me to smile at him, a Cooper trademark saying. Asking me to simply sit with him. And last night, as I sat with him and smiled at him and held him, he looked up at me with those big baby blues and asked me a question that brought instant tears to my eyes. He said, "Mom, am I still your baby doll?" {Baby doll is a nickname I have always had for Coop.} And although my response took a few moments as I tried to talk through the tears, I looked at that sweet little boy, this boy asking for his mom's love and security in a simple question, and I responded, "Oh yes Cooper. You'll always be my baby doll. No matter how old you are. No matter how old I am. You'll always be mommy's little boy."

He smiled so big, squeezed me with those little arms so tight, and said, "Thanks mommy!"

Seriously, what kind of kid thanks his mom for loving him? Cooper is just that way.

It's moments like those where I am reminded of my own father. And not my earthly father, although I know I am loved greatly by him as well. No, I'm talking about my Heavenly Father. He loves me so much, so much deeper than I can ever understand. He loves me more than I could ever love my own children, and that's really a hard concept to grasp. But because His love is so pure, so real, so sinless, it is the greatest love anyone could ever know.

I pray that each and every one of you knows the love our Father in Heaven has for us. I know that as I think of holding my little boy and loving on him, I can't help but feel the love of my Lord and Savior wrapped around me. After all, like the verse says, "We love, because He first loved us." 1 John 4:19.

Thanks for 'listening.' :)

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